Stressed

Yeah, bottom line is that I’m stressed.

I moved last weekend in the middle of a snowstorm. Slid backward down the icy driveway into a ditch, carried a couch up said half mile driveway, yeah. Getting yelled at by parents and students at work for things I didn’t even do doesn’t help. Next month I have to take a mandatory month off from work with no pay. I may have gotten my mother fired from her job with my father. My father is trying to turn “his” family against me. Not to mention, because of the holidays and my poor planning skills, I was essentially off of my meds for nearly two weeks, so things look pretty bleak right now.

I do love my new place, but things are so stressful right now that I just can’t enjoy it. I wish I could talk to T. Even for just a few minutes. 15 days down, 12 to go.

Work tomorrow is going to be insane. Just one more day until I can take a deep breath, at least for a couple days.

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8 thoughts on “Stressed

  1. One day at a time my friend. You can and will make it! Sometimes the “forced” stuff turns out to be the most helpful, as terrifying as it feels in the moment. Sending you hugs….

  2. That sounds like a very full plate, no wonder you’re feeling on the edge. Remember to keep breathing and try to hang on to knowing it won’t always be like this. I hope things ease up soon.

    But I must also beg to differ with some of your perceptions. You did not make your mother lose her job, nor is it your fault your father is turning the family against you. You have done nothing wrong, are not responsible for either of those actions and other people are making those choices not you. I certainly understand how they are adding to your not inconsiderable stress (I HATE moving!) but you do not need to add to your burden by taking on responsibility, and guilt, for things you are not responsible for. (I know I sound like a broken record, but some things need to be said a lot before we can take them in and trust them.) Hang in there!

    hugs, AG

    1. Thanks, AG. That sounds a lot like something my T would say to me. It FEELS like I’m responsible, though, because all of this is only happening because of what I did. It’s hard to separate myself from that. Thanks for the support. ((hugs))

      1. Ah, Kashley, I am going to be persistently annoying. This is not happening only because of what you did. it is hapening because of choices you’re parents made and horrible actions your father did. You are reacting, and very reasonably I might add, to things done to you. These consequences follow your parents actions, not yours. OK, I’ll stop now. 🙂

      2. You’re not annoying. 🙂 On some level, I do get what you’re saying. That automatic thinking is such a hard habit to break, and a lot of times it’s hard to want to because the guilt and self-hate is more “comfortable.”

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